tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47249444215843198902024-02-07T21:19:34.510-08:00Bulldog WisdomI can change your life if you just listen to me. And pet the butt part.tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-25094779234477981222012-02-20T13:25:00.000-08:002012-02-20T13:25:47.834-08:00Walkies!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Oh, hell, YES!<br />
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I OWN THIS PATH!<br />
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And this one, too!</div>
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I can FLY!!!</div>
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Where's waldo?</div>
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I'm watching the surfers headed back from Cardiacs.</div>
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I had me a good walk, I really did.</div>
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Don't worry, ocean. </div>
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I'll be back soon!</div>
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Namaste.</div>
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<br />tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-2075402161223524462012-02-12T11:41:00.000-08:002012-02-12T11:41:09.643-08:00It felt as if one's whole world was one long Sunday afternoon. Nothing to do, nowhere to go.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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But, shit, man, I been busy!<br />
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I got a new bed. That girl had a new baby. There is all kinds of new smells around here.<br />
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Plus, there is that new man that comes around.<br />
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He throws toys for me.<br />
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I hear him at the door? I'm under the desk, diggin' out a squirrel or a rabbit or something, anything! for him to throw for me!<br />
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Anyways. It's Sunday. I had my walk. I had my bath.<br />
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Time to get my nap on.<br />
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<br />tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-13187802439027336962011-10-01T11:54:00.000-07:002011-10-01T11:54:56.777-07:00Goddamn Sonofabitch Motherfucker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<li>My right eye is all gooped up. Dry eye they call it. Now I gotta get drops in my damn eye twice a day. </li>
<li>My face is all torn up and infected from scratching it because my goddamn ears were infected. So I'm taking antibiotics and getting my ears cleaned out and drops in them.</li>
<li>I got the damn arthritis in my joints and can't barely go walkies or get up on the fracking poof. So I'm taking a beef-flavored pain pill once a day.</li>
<li>Plus, the man keeps giving me baths.</li>
<li>Plus <i>and</i>, the damn woman is nowhere to be seen.</li>
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I do, however, kind of have a crush on all my new doctors at the new vets office. They love me so wicked bad they can't help themselves. They get all on the floor with me and rub my belly and my butt and kiss my face and all kinds of good shit.</div>
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Oh, shit. Here comes the man. </div>
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He's gonna put me in the tub,<i> I can feel it.</i></div>
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tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-16150395129166284072011-08-28T09:11:00.000-07:002011-08-28T09:11:40.338-07:00Walkies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIofc8rjwHNEINXbr1KiWMYsaC6-LunC25w-Fggt_TNHIzZcGPV_Jh4DyXFo_9omqLXQ-lQDSd7E3cY8MyS0P1l6KFcGLIktnYIs610grDo4IJsP-Vfwu4ednu_7jeKle1y4-ricpRKFI9/s1600/shot_1312479102654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIofc8rjwHNEINXbr1KiWMYsaC6-LunC25w-Fggt_TNHIzZcGPV_Jh4DyXFo_9omqLXQ-lQDSd7E3cY8MyS0P1l6KFcGLIktnYIs610grDo4IJsP-Vfwu4ednu_7jeKle1y4-ricpRKFI9/s320/shot_1312479102654.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is the stuff right here.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The open road.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The iodine smell of the sea, the wind in my fur, private places to poop!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Of late my parents have done lost their minds. The woman especially. The way it goes is, the man gives me a bath cuz I stank. Then he dries me off. Then I run around and around under the chairs on the back deck, scratching my back on the lower rungs. Then I lie down in the hot sun and take a nap.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All well and good, right?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then, in a quiet moment when no one is watching, I slip away into the back garden, lie down in the dirt, and roll on my back till I am completely covered in dust and dirt and goodness.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then I go inside and take a nap on the floor.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">This is where the woman goes berserk. Out of nowhere she swoops down on me, all aghast and shocked at my condition, and out we go onto the back deck. Only now she busts out the hose! And uses it on me!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The things I have to put up with around here. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Its humiliating. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off for my walk.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-16279531737331287782011-04-02T12:19:00.000-07:002011-04-02T12:19:20.495-07:00Weekend Plans<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Yubjv60ihh0Scdgrd3hs3JiiCKrKMXPcrn0_OMQhdY7WKw2ElCFVyo8BgTSLlDwE9M6swwKBmzpwWKoaAxtdv3n-SKncSAHaLnaNetHTXjXRU89lDju-BaCtOC-ouc2jPrkBCH2ICydn/s1600/IMG_2312-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4Yubjv60ihh0Scdgrd3hs3JiiCKrKMXPcrn0_OMQhdY7WKw2ElCFVyo8BgTSLlDwE9M6swwKBmzpwWKoaAxtdv3n-SKncSAHaLnaNetHTXjXRU89lDju-BaCtOC-ouc2jPrkBCH2ICydn/s400/IMG_2312-copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>zzzzzzzz.............snort.................zzzzzzzzzzz</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-c8QGI99e8JjDtLj8-aF3qmvd6sypoASvEUWVCt1PbqTEjXenYGW4TCHwPCpGtD46LDPmqj9f_1TWVwHm5fNBwFuizx5_ZBeH8vBY80aq0nnoDSN7QcSeCQFvkW_Xkqku53vZc7or1YT/s1600/lu%2527s-poof.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-c8QGI99e8JjDtLj8-aF3qmvd6sypoASvEUWVCt1PbqTEjXenYGW4TCHwPCpGtD46LDPmqj9f_1TWVwHm5fNBwFuizx5_ZBeH8vBY80aq0nnoDSN7QcSeCQFvkW_Xkqku53vZc7or1YT/s400/lu%2527s-poof.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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*<br />
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Check back later....<br />
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****tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-79321094369958215982011-03-24T18:39:00.000-07:002011-03-24T18:39:39.210-07:00There Will Be Toast<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg448EHLFR8jaluGwgjFU17i39LPlrpGPqO2qd8BA4PKEbD1eWDVmCHYmNTfc-xmJaRrAINUZmVZ7fXhgiP2cvzvPs_v3AE2sWvN9u1lTKZv9UhJsk7Ozl9YxW9_tnL1mdjaNr0r-iCYQDR/s1600/There-Will-Be-Toast-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg448EHLFR8jaluGwgjFU17i39LPlrpGPqO2qd8BA4PKEbD1eWDVmCHYmNTfc-xmJaRrAINUZmVZ7fXhgiP2cvzvPs_v3AE2sWvN9u1lTKZv9UhJsk7Ozl9YxW9_tnL1mdjaNr0r-iCYQDR/s400/There-Will-Be-Toast-copy.jpg" width="282" /></a></div><br />
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*<br />
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My favorite movie.<br />
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*<br />
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By way of explanation:<br />
<br />
<br />
After dinner we get "slanket time" on the sofa and we watch some weird foreign movie, which is okay, sure. As long as I get pet.<br />
<br />
But about halfway through the movie, Mom announces, "It's time for toast."<br />
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<br />
And we all get up and has toast.<br />
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My toast is chicken strip snacks.<br />
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*<br />
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There Will Be Toast.<br />
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*tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-49430160520202366282011-03-12T15:50:00.000-08:002011-03-12T15:50:19.419-08:00ether bunny<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8olxXW36YrSErZZw9CbpDhA1ZKt44dUVtlQVjLF2Qe0KyTsl1mrR8O-0ENLflMmkkvfItW9-PGK8_UHfIQfBWrx5qmawLEeK3yGG0_OzW9rjmnf55bV99JPs5FDd5bbPrcLu7ofqmTbMD/s1600/bunnylu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8olxXW36YrSErZZw9CbpDhA1ZKt44dUVtlQVjLF2Qe0KyTsl1mrR8O-0ENLflMmkkvfItW9-PGK8_UHfIQfBWrx5qmawLEeK3yGG0_OzW9rjmnf55bV99JPs5FDd5bbPrcLu7ofqmTbMD/s400/bunnylu.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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*<br />
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<i>"Oh, the pain, the pain!"</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
Dr. Zachary Smith, Lost In Space<br />
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*tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-77817309427286639382011-03-07T15:57:00.000-08:002011-03-07T15:57:19.219-08:00Me as a Puppy.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLz2qzIxpZwv5_RIY7aeSIZ6aHzRGujOrRfzu2vrkrY92XV0ISee_1F5QXgSDpGOitRYPApEXBhjN4jsQr7fBCXuK9QXDFK424dg_FgzbnJHRfANt5zOudwPLXn8s9F-MA-WoF0LQOniwH/s1600/lu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="327" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLz2qzIxpZwv5_RIY7aeSIZ6aHzRGujOrRfzu2vrkrY92XV0ISee_1F5QXgSDpGOitRYPApEXBhjN4jsQr7fBCXuK9QXDFK424dg_FgzbnJHRfANt5zOudwPLXn8s9F-MA-WoF0LQOniwH/s400/lu.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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*<br />
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'nuff said.<br />
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*tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-7651170498017767152011-02-18T13:28:00.000-08:002011-02-18T13:28:11.211-08:00Rainy Day Walkies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzz0ET7FFCM1XBeZp8YwuaxAN8BtfiKOothTufxOQ4h1LowEKdhDfC19-unSX-Y39aDfVSJ5r4ducVEcyn1' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg03y8GFv_vurzGdlRvDntQmkwu3P13KuN-Kw8ZL2rveWquqRTDIagyzrNF3t72wvfstVR_-RDR58YlM6Gj54DntjuKZJ1mqPhGXbNR-Kg5VR27YZCnuE28KIYjKj9nqMgeeokDbuj2jcXL/s1600/FxCam_1298056953781.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg03y8GFv_vurzGdlRvDntQmkwu3P13KuN-Kw8ZL2rveWquqRTDIagyzrNF3t72wvfstVR_-RDR58YlM6Gj54DntjuKZJ1mqPhGXbNR-Kg5VR27YZCnuE28KIYjKj9nqMgeeokDbuj2jcXL/s400/FxCam_1298056953781.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">uhm, Dad, you let me get wet.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">*</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The people think that I am being contradictory when I will run and play in the driving rain and splash in puddles and rivers and streams and run headlong into the ocean but I WILL NOT GET IN THE BATH.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">They just don't understand what's fun and what's not.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I'm glad my mom is back home. I slept like the dead last night.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All is well.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1PI0GcIRCPwDapwV8P3FhG-B3iff8MRyw-b7d17BcUVn6-VqkxSSV1e1c-wdRRNlXleDVbP3LLZJqaQ3GvMlq-9IY228UgPWelbwcmDetDmC5TI2fMkYQPps2_6Ti8WoQMY4xm3uqg8uj/s1600/FxCam_1298055843060.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1PI0GcIRCPwDapwV8P3FhG-B3iff8MRyw-b7d17BcUVn6-VqkxSSV1e1c-wdRRNlXleDVbP3LLZJqaQ3GvMlq-9IY228UgPWelbwcmDetDmC5TI2fMkYQPps2_6Ti8WoQMY4xm3uqg8uj/s400/FxCam_1298055843060.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the end of the road, dude.</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Later, gator.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-46490352510476496772011-02-11T12:27:00.000-08:002011-02-11T12:27:53.537-08:00Lone Palm<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJSHumH1wOAbqXWj7puCpIzRrdtsWFt5rI8bfBL20c_AfmNPDjNsbazdQln4nZYmXjkrN-QJym_0JJ3XLgB5lP69AYa5v330l_wafcWSuzcawvy8sPn-h_FkqNIFCQeiJyhTx68GSHB5Hw/s1600/lucy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJSHumH1wOAbqXWj7puCpIzRrdtsWFt5rI8bfBL20c_AfmNPDjNsbazdQln4nZYmXjkrN-QJym_0JJ3XLgB5lP69AYa5v330l_wafcWSuzcawvy8sPn-h_FkqNIFCQeiJyhTx68GSHB5Hw/s400/lucy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">getting my walk on</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs1V3W2kAa5QIyvDCDibZBye6QB3577e6htvB4wV0mVeviimWxjGTsjyLSGVsj36gFfn_TDhVookhewLy_Fmt3kbid-tTellptC1LrUkoXuzhQzYjPKvDftAGviUKJhmeQTuxSxtPKDX7J/s1600/lone-palm-horizon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs1V3W2kAa5QIyvDCDibZBye6QB3577e6htvB4wV0mVeviimWxjGTsjyLSGVsj36gFfn_TDhVookhewLy_Fmt3kbid-tTellptC1LrUkoXuzhQzYjPKvDftAGviUKJhmeQTuxSxtPKDX7J/s400/lone-palm-horizon.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dad takes me to the nicest places</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuEzP6_uR75n8yCsmQf6rT4aie5fPu7hl-MXxWmMnvrLNIf9PdBhhQ77hoSkJaOyV4z1fg3iXlY_NAjp5-Yx5FkU50FZ_oMPimQWOzW_g2iK-qbekKJZBOtRWf_TzXYqTahD1LzwEj5rLZ/s1600/lu-at-lone-palm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuEzP6_uR75n8yCsmQf6rT4aie5fPu7hl-MXxWmMnvrLNIf9PdBhhQ77hoSkJaOyV4z1fg3iXlY_NAjp5-Yx5FkU50FZ_oMPimQWOzW_g2iK-qbekKJZBOtRWf_TzXYqTahD1LzwEj5rLZ/s400/lu-at-lone-palm.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It looks better with me in the picture</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9aiCL6CkVGWEXgHmAQFE9Qye3PhnTVTFMhyphenhyphenp8qQNmyLzzwK7gqWDM7C6qa0b7nn4K1DIFk8DX3BlwoRMbdcH_n-NbyB_pJ8RDCgP7CwZNY30mA8UNL9jDFiyaOUZDttASvGw_tyrVsYf/s1600/lu-examines-the-cairns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF9aiCL6CkVGWEXgHmAQFE9Qye3PhnTVTFMhyphenhyphenp8qQNmyLzzwK7gqWDM7C6qa0b7nn4K1DIFk8DX3BlwoRMbdcH_n-NbyB_pJ8RDCgP7CwZNY30mA8UNL9jDFiyaOUZDttASvGw_tyrVsYf/s400/lu-examines-the-cairns.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I had a lot of exploring to do</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-BUB44UffLQC-1yMHCvJpgch-ZD6bKJssDkVqmHiFmpcSoHFk9ggT7T7lj8_X81NqpoqJaK15zhsB5fbd3S-UqT4btP2pAGc2SoNTFxRUYnlKkdPjBA3T0Y9J4_094dSJ-PRkDCLCheQ6/s1600/lucy-bear.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-BUB44UffLQC-1yMHCvJpgch-ZD6bKJssDkVqmHiFmpcSoHFk9ggT7T7lj8_X81NqpoqJaK15zhsB5fbd3S-UqT4btP2pAGc2SoNTFxRUYnlKkdPjBA3T0Y9J4_094dSJ-PRkDCLCheQ6/s400/lucy-bear.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I pretended I was a bear coming out of hibernation</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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*<br />
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<br />
Well, here's a little post about my day. The man finally stayed home from work for once in his miserable life and took me out to Lone Palm.<br />
<br />
So instead of spending the entire day asleep on my custom hand-made Morroccan leather poof, I will only spend twenty-three hours asleep on it.<br />
<br />
The other hour was spent chasing enormous white egrets and gazing at sea lions and otters and gulls and cormorants and eating grass and running and running and running and then walking very slowly and panting and resting in the shade and trying to eat poop.<br />
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A girl has got to try.<br />
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*<br />
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I miss you, Mom.<br />
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Hurry home.<br />
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Love-<br />
<br />
Lu.<br />
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***tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-41326982303358558342010-11-07T16:04:00.000-08:002010-11-07T16:04:17.422-08:00Poof Doggy Dog<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqW96nUIMBhVEegQFj4ZpbhC2xeAzz1YbQpirrQlWlq11GLPD-D1XPOJweP75OCRAACUaNjoNBOXYAZE40ycIBKjom96wy6HNO0prv_lTE8REpGizjn2z8ysyqRt1nmr53Tg5BfzKSlyDs/s1600/poof-doggy-dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqW96nUIMBhVEegQFj4ZpbhC2xeAzz1YbQpirrQlWlq11GLPD-D1XPOJweP75OCRAACUaNjoNBOXYAZE40ycIBKjom96wy6HNO0prv_lTE8REpGizjn2z8ysyqRt1nmr53Tg5BfzKSlyDs/s400/poof-doggy-dog.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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*<br />
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<br />
<br />
It's raining.<br />
<br />
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<br />
I've been for my walkies.<br />
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The fox has got his little feets chewed off.<br />
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The raccoons is gone.<br />
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*<br />
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<br />
Time for nappies on the poof.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
Doesn't everyone have a handmade leather bed from Morocco?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
No?<br />
<br />
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Wake me when my bowl is full, bitches.<br />
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***tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-63420408343518158642010-10-08T10:14:00.000-07:002010-10-08T10:14:17.884-07:00What I Get Up To When I'm Left With Sugar Daddy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VX0dHGjTvp7cl2cIzSxlqoAhVxwTR-QN3RyQW7heVQyWYix7KDXnY-xnC90kB4OKvI6CvSs8YXzRZLQkUJXDbmJGCRayD__fdf5-2CmKVXTEOJPOkH7ekGF2Pjvuw98-2jDFReeYkfGg/s1600/Lu-in-the-big-bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VX0dHGjTvp7cl2cIzSxlqoAhVxwTR-QN3RyQW7heVQyWYix7KDXnY-xnC90kB4OKvI6CvSs8YXzRZLQkUJXDbmJGCRayD__fdf5-2CmKVXTEOJPOkH7ekGF2Pjvuw98-2jDFReeYkfGg/s400/Lu-in-the-big-bed.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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*<br />
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I sleep here now.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2CRxP7Q2O0AOyH-zC_p8PNULNfQ4yTyoZc7O_7lnOhqo912eaHEj6iiNr8N1iPu-AkTjnmHjrIoD2S-QRlZMDDRhGTrp2tquUt3rggVHAeKGjh49lZWVzPdnjR0DyRodxnJBY4jslAEOf/s1600/whachoo-lookin'-at-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2CRxP7Q2O0AOyH-zC_p8PNULNfQ4yTyoZc7O_7lnOhqo912eaHEj6iiNr8N1iPu-AkTjnmHjrIoD2S-QRlZMDDRhGTrp2tquUt3rggVHAeKGjh49lZWVzPdnjR0DyRodxnJBY4jslAEOf/s400/whachoo-lookin'-at-.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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I go walkies whenever the fuck I want to.<br />
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*<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixTYhNsY6ZltDbWSb9kW3B7AdmbkWMYUk662DsNKxDQ3R3YS_ALg_jPh0LW4vR8zOZuibIyDt_vK0phlQTmTHlZx86PjEXMh1404K7uWmZWYZgqIHTdk4NcUEHOlm5faHYgcQ3_EsPEPAa/s1600/IMG_1878-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixTYhNsY6ZltDbWSb9kW3B7AdmbkWMYUk662DsNKxDQ3R3YS_ALg_jPh0LW4vR8zOZuibIyDt_vK0phlQTmTHlZx86PjEXMh1404K7uWmZWYZgqIHTdk4NcUEHOlm5faHYgcQ3_EsPEPAa/s400/IMG_1878-copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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But I still miss my Mommy.<br />
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Real, real bad.<br />
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***<br />
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Come home now!<br />
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***tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-3665546838415437602010-01-31T15:14:00.000-08:002010-01-31T15:14:08.056-08:00little patch of sunlight girl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyD27iyo942RHRGB5IKUJK7bLD2b7k7LQpHqm5bQquUI77CEnBa3S8scEK0af3qWIvlm9yvJygrF43bdwzvz0h28OpohSn3VVs-aR7NzFrFHC7CR-IIKOmmmb56UEtQypstBhX5m2BBPO2/s1600-h/lulu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyD27iyo942RHRGB5IKUJK7bLD2b7k7LQpHqm5bQquUI77CEnBa3S8scEK0af3qWIvlm9yvJygrF43bdwzvz0h28OpohSn3VVs-aR7NzFrFHC7CR-IIKOmmmb56UEtQypstBhX5m2BBPO2/s320/lulu.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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*<br />
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If there is something better than sitting on the porch soaking up the morning sun, I want to know what it is.<br />
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Put it in my bowl.<br />
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*<br />
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The woman and the man are back now and everything is as it should be.<br />
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Except he gave me a bath.<br />
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<br />
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But he dried me off after, which <i>almost</i> makes up for it.<br />
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*tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-3689197051434016242009-11-21T15:41:00.000-08:002009-11-21T15:53:37.820-08:00Headlong, headless, heedless, asleep.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-PkjCrbi_hNMKDozrRWl7ILjx-eYHs34R4GMf-yWQBcoZ48dnpHy6wo-Pbl6gTtPpUSxthCbBwtWv8Ec9JosCtUjQ5XMxykbWiyY1huYc1PTOPt_t0RCsRBh1GJGnAL_HM59Fvb-s2im/s1600/headlong.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL-PkjCrbi_hNMKDozrRWl7ILjx-eYHs34R4GMf-yWQBcoZ48dnpHy6wo-Pbl6gTtPpUSxthCbBwtWv8Ec9JosCtUjQ5XMxykbWiyY1huYc1PTOPt_t0RCsRBh1GJGnAL_HM59Fvb-s2im/s400/headlong.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406708765869043746" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ID1nx6dmcZBroddVfqvxZnTzMmKdFU4qBWl6YEN5uFSgvnm29IHm5RWNgrGKWDfQrlOCvew10E9uh7wn-6tX1IoL5n1F7ZzH-p_Dh8VTqSybluFKmvOhfZnfC3mfwqEFw-eO_8wl-kMC/s1600/head-first.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 292px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3ID1nx6dmcZBroddVfqvxZnTzMmKdFU4qBWl6YEN5uFSgvnm29IHm5RWNgrGKWDfQrlOCvew10E9uh7wn-6tX1IoL5n1F7ZzH-p_Dh8VTqSybluFKmvOhfZnfC3mfwqEFw-eO_8wl-kMC/s400/head-first.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406708762652397170" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_UacHmlyjx18eMoN9MEfT1chRXp0d1AfnukTG8wqZLIe8UUB5-XcVTIMsCtPignfC1Ry9RMlU6eV34KbhvEmj7tzSQQKsIYoXDqPaFm7ItB-20oXiz0Wrz5BOZ68peHx8RMi9TLxB2Z7a/s1600/nappies.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_UacHmlyjx18eMoN9MEfT1chRXp0d1AfnukTG8wqZLIe8UUB5-XcVTIMsCtPignfC1Ry9RMlU6eV34KbhvEmj7tzSQQKsIYoXDqPaFm7ItB-20oXiz0Wrz5BOZ68peHx8RMi9TLxB2Z7a/s400/nappies.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5406708760471799906" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>The woman understands me. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>That man, he's just crazy.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>But he takes me to the beach. And he lets me ride in the back of the truck even though I'm not supposed to. And he rubs my butt like I like.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>He don't listen to me like the woman does, though. He leaves me sitting at the back door too long and won't get up in the middle of the night to let me out to pee. </div><div><br /></div><div>She knows me. She knows when I'm hungry or sleepy or when it's time for walkies. She takes me to work, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>She also sticks the camera in my face when I'm trying to take a damn nap!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>***</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-79513944507362258532009-08-15T08:10:00.000-07:002009-08-15T08:16:02.737-07:00There. I have defeated the sea.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IU_r8t2yXBcLRbJubd_SwJxe5dObJcPoQgHWuNebnb1peESmYlAOQAfQLIdWjXKQv2zaW_-GisUd5vSbXK6XZOgpQUVyYELtZ5byHDjcf2FABJHNRX2lEhDHlYqYk_U6wwJX83QF1rkL/s1600-h/P1170002.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0IU_r8t2yXBcLRbJubd_SwJxe5dObJcPoQgHWuNebnb1peESmYlAOQAfQLIdWjXKQv2zaW_-GisUd5vSbXK6XZOgpQUVyYELtZ5byHDjcf2FABJHNRX2lEhDHlYqYk_U6wwJX83QF1rkL/s400/P1170002.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5370208401211794002" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>The thing about the ocean is that it just doesn't know when it's been licked. I mean, you go there, there's all these waves- they just rush in and crash down, over and over, no matter how many times you get in there and rip them apart, they just keep coming.</div><div><br /></div><div>It can wear a dog out.</div><div><br /></div><div>It took me a while, but I finally got it done. The whole ocean got tired of me kickin' its butt and declared a truce. </div><div><br /></div><div>I gave it a good long stare and everything was as still as a pond.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>No need to turn back and check. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>On to the next foe!</div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-33255674217493660662008-11-22T11:09:00.000-08:002008-11-22T11:12:58.267-08:00Pensive Lucy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSWaeA5gCDzXoA705OgJ0qAXDYA9aNPPVDbYshwGRcgEjaH_V_MfPZCrXlPe1xy6FjmC9OK3PUEmx059bfreVuW4hfP-1ciUIpuqtsBMOEmWYZ0sgyFtp1ShXMtG9Hr9WOTo1TFN7h5J-0/s1600-h/pensive+lu.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSWaeA5gCDzXoA705OgJ0qAXDYA9aNPPVDbYshwGRcgEjaH_V_MfPZCrXlPe1xy6FjmC9OK3PUEmx059bfreVuW4hfP-1ciUIpuqtsBMOEmWYZ0sgyFtp1ShXMtG9Hr9WOTo1TFN7h5J-0/s400/pensive+lu.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5271561186920474354" /></a><br /><br />*<br /><br />Somedays a bulldog just wants to look out the window, watch the world go by. <br /><br /><br />It's good if it's raining then.<br /><br /><br /><br />*<br /><br />I am trying out a new fitness plan. Twenty hours of sleeping and one hour of enforced activity with the other dogs. <br /><br /><br /><br />It was not my idea, I can tell you. <br /><br /><br />*<br /><br />Now, if you'll forgive me, my mom is making elevensies. Which means there will be fried egg whites waiting for me.<br /><br /><br />So later for you. I got something to attend to.<br /><br /><br /><br />***tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-63578450834847262932008-07-05T10:54:00.000-07:002008-07-05T11:03:16.258-07:00Who, me?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUewF8IdlMs_DmmSLj9JNiTYFxWXjlR7cmdfMe_eQlUn8J-DlajIZtSBhtRX4lYRGDjzRveQE_yEsH9nsleGvM3Q5M_PqHAtNWQ7wOd8qK3fbWkbuYUAvQrdMtTfCug57iFWjhuUdMzOvB/s1600-h/wet-lou.jpg" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /></span><img style="text-decoration: underline;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; " src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUewF8IdlMs_DmmSLj9JNiTYFxWXjlR7cmdfMe_eQlUn8J-DlajIZtSBhtRX4lYRGDjzRveQE_yEsH9nsleGvM3Q5M_PqHAtNWQ7wOd8qK3fbWkbuYUAvQrdMtTfCug57iFWjhuUdMzOvB/s400/wet-lou.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219590062264679122" /></a>*<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The indignities never end.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, one thing is, they keep giving me baths. Which is humiliating enough. Except for the drying off part, which I have to admit is the goddamn cat's pajamas. But then they've been putting some nasty-ass flea medicine on me, which smells like the worst thing in the world times about a brazilian. And worse yet, this freaking neem oil shit that just smells like ass.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>And not in a good way.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Right now I'm in trouble because of another smell. Which is what. I don't know. It smells like a hundred thousand dead cows and there is some dead chicken in there, and also dead moles and some fish, smelt maybe, and I think a couple of old dead people, too. Plus some whale bones and elephant carcasses.</div><div><br /></div><div>Bone meal. Blood meal. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>They put it all over the goddamn garden!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>It smells like a freakin' slaughterhouse!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>In a good way.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>So, I got in there a little bit. Put my face in there. Right in there. Shit, I wanted to climb in and roll around, get it rubbed in to every square inch of me.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But a lady has to maintain a certain level of respectability.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So I just rooted around like a little piggie with my snout.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>MMMMM!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Now I ain't allowed out no more.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>I ask you, where's the justice?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>And, yes. It's time for another bath.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-9276844498828988652008-06-17T12:47:00.000-07:002008-06-17T12:58:48.476-07:00Bath. Blech.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlgGbWueDhPwB-2qeq3w4VHhwyX7zFmJ9zlUYzuSK-bIxvO7Q9xckKhIWqHWm7As4XRp7rvklft16wGMatD-6pyzLT4Zsy2RWKbj4-oFoRKes1xSwyEVZVOjhRFrQ5LkcoErfDHpdYJk8T/s1600-h/P6080023-copy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlgGbWueDhPwB-2qeq3w4VHhwyX7zFmJ9zlUYzuSK-bIxvO7Q9xckKhIWqHWm7As4XRp7rvklft16wGMatD-6pyzLT4Zsy2RWKbj4-oFoRKes1xSwyEVZVOjhRFrQ5LkcoErfDHpdYJk8T/s400/P6080023-copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212941881844076130" /></a><br /><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>And another thing. What's with this bath bullshit? </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>I mean, a girl finally gets herself smellin' <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">good</span> and they gotta come around and ruin it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Not to mention the indignity of it all.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Really.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But there is a good part: getting dried off! </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Now you're talking!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-52779436487474133712008-05-11T14:36:00.000-07:002008-05-11T14:41:56.713-07:00Mother,<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc01nerKtASWuWSNnAlI5GxaRMMG4wTqOyoicUyQ9MJnbBOpOiVyOmuzyE1pQCzrpKfbEQkm113HaYC5keXwTGF4u8O1YroQLl_ydOBVkhISBxo1ZqAmnvczEmMDmjxaivPETj5fvY3Eo7/s1600-h/P5110005.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc01nerKtASWuWSNnAlI5GxaRMMG4wTqOyoicUyQ9MJnbBOpOiVyOmuzyE1pQCzrpKfbEQkm113HaYC5keXwTGF4u8O1YroQLl_ydOBVkhISBxo1ZqAmnvczEmMDmjxaivPETj5fvY3Eo7/s400/P5110005.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5199238217729098514" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Mother's Day, Mom.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>You are the best one.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Let me tell you about my Mom. She always knows exactly what I'm thinking- what I need in the way of fresh water, more food, walkies, bathroom...you name it, she knows even before I do that I want that thing.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>We have ESPN or something. She can read my tiny mind.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>I like to sit on her when she knits. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe rest a paw on her thigh.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Sigh.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks for being my Mom.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-48169718598286570342008-02-25T16:50:00.000-08:002008-02-25T16:57:40.983-08:00Lying Liars and the Lies They Tell<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, lookit. If I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">tell </span>you I haven't been fed, </div><div>then <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I haven't been fed, goddamnit.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Those other dogs? Laying about, acting like their bellies are full? Napping in the sunshine on the back deck?</div><div><br /></div><div>Fucking liars.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I ain't been fed yet.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>It's a good thing for me I speak a little Puerto Rican. THE WOMAN always listens when I throw down a little bit of "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Aye, Senora, tengo muy hambre.</span>"</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Ese hombre no me dio ningun cualquier cosa comer."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">No estoy mentiendo.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-47444757563641088912008-02-20T13:59:00.000-08:002008-02-20T14:04:26.510-08:00Pet The Ass*<br /><br />Look, it's pretty simple. I don't know why I have to spell it out for you every time I see you, but you can be a little dense at times, so here it is again:<br /><br /><br /><em>"Pet The Ass Part"</em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br />You want to squeeze my face? Kiss me? Grab my jowls and shake my head back and forth? Fine. No problemo.<br /><strong></strong><br />Just do me a solid, man. Pet the ass.<br /><br />*<br /><br />You see me out there on the porch, rubbin' my butt on the bricks, on the sidewalk, on the welcome mat, on the chaise lounge and under the chairs, you gotta know I need that butt part rubbed.<br /><br /><br />It's not <em>optional.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>*</em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em><br />I'm just sayin, is all.<br /><br /><br /><br />*tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-26988657874103586122008-02-06T21:05:00.000-08:002008-02-06T21:07:38.743-08:00Lookit Me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmyy72CTXKjAFyj5-f1RsV4KyvrnVtbkI-Pl1Tp8qMrEy0DLfZcFfSzLh_P9aaPKiuuUh0Ymd8YjWBtfp5p5suLZFKJi1-ED8jkPoYhtZK8Aje2icZYB8V5HiW2F6oyYgB0HqQch0G91-/s1600-h/lucy-stamp-copy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAmyy72CTXKjAFyj5-f1RsV4KyvrnVtbkI-Pl1Tp8qMrEy0DLfZcFfSzLh_P9aaPKiuuUh0Ymd8YjWBtfp5p5suLZFKJi1-ED8jkPoYhtZK8Aje2icZYB8V5HiW2F6oyYgB0HqQch0G91-/s400/lucy-stamp-copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5164100382341393330" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div>THE MAN did this picture of me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think it makes me look fat.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>And in need of botox.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-1350109803627558382008-01-27T15:26:00.000-08:002008-01-27T15:34:42.927-08:00Dumb Ass<div>***</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGiV9kgI5EvI91XqafTPsUa1nGzSHjhcvEF0FMRafHZkYp91USZHjAcNw86Z217e942vi704_9ca2W6lVBRgIXuV9nvRZcXd7Pz18IRXJOF24bDMDPD8MO4s4poUNXP103rJJqOjs8Fb8H/s1600-h/dumbass.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGiV9kgI5EvI91XqafTPsUa1nGzSHjhcvEF0FMRafHZkYp91USZHjAcNw86Z217e942vi704_9ca2W6lVBRgIXuV9nvRZcXd7Pz18IRXJOF24bDMDPD8MO4s4poUNXP103rJJqOjs8Fb8H/s400/dumbass.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5160302265452129106" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div>That's Dumb Ass. </div><div><br /></div><div>AKA Cash. Cassius Clay. Retard. Nervous little poodle. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The list goes on.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>If there is anything at all going on, Dumb Ass is the last to know about it. Feeding time, walkies, nappies, whatever. </div><div><br /></div><div>Day late and a dollar short.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>He's a good kid, though. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>He does like to play. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>He usually hurts himself and breaks something. Then limps around howling and barking and half wagging his little stumpy tail and trying to grin, like "Oh, it's nothing. I'm okay. Did you see that big old table right there? Man, I had no idea it was that<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> hard</span>. Am I bleeding?"</div><div><br /></div><div>What do you do with a dog like that?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Half the time he barks, he got no idea. </div><div><br /></div><div>Just likes the sound of it, I guess.</div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>He's just the thing, though, when you need somebody to go to the beach with, or run in the mud with, or someone to bite. I can latch onto those jowls and he'll drag me around the backyard for hours.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I like him alright. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Not his fault he's dumb as a box of hammers.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So, that's the crew. Me and Raj and Cash. The three amigos. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-35716284560432377432008-01-27T15:16:00.000-08:002008-01-27T15:25:13.290-08:00Rajah<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Z58lSZ9ELY5qBT4URgS3xmUZCPAnaA1Q8hLZ_pmDR4xHBFei1xeEqL4znxXfvLmCBTo4mS5h5oLXYbLrRXJjjnu_RMhpMZm8qj2oDNQauAy8CNgs89ZjU4c5NFlMNmJ3awgArLh7nWnN/s1600-h/IMG_1893-copy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Z58lSZ9ELY5qBT4URgS3xmUZCPAnaA1Q8hLZ_pmDR4xHBFei1xeEqL4znxXfvLmCBTo4mS5h5oLXYbLrRXJjjnu_RMhpMZm8qj2oDNQauAy8CNgs89ZjU4c5NFlMNmJ3awgArLh7nWnN/s400/IMG_1893-copy.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5160299946169789250" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div>This is Raj.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't let her fool you. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>She is a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wild animal.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Man, all you gotta do is try to get <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">just a little bite</span> of food from her bowl, and she goes apeshit.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>She'll bite you. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Hard.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div>It's good to have her around though, because she fulfills a lot of the real dog duties that come up. Late night barking, chasing deer, raccoons, opossum, the neighbors, man, she digs that shit. Which is cool, cause that means I can keep chillin' on the sofa and I don't have to worry some nutjob is gonna come up in the house and rob it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not with <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span> bitch outside they won't.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Every few days, man, she takes off. Gone all night. No idea where she goes. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But she always comes back with the goods.</div><div><br /></div><div>Chicken leg. T-bone. Bag of dead fish. Every bowl of catfood left out in a two mile radius.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>She the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">bomb</span>.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't fuck with her, though.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm serious man. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>You'll draw back a stump.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4724944421584319890.post-67349671512594559302008-01-26T13:37:00.000-08:002008-01-26T17:14:29.161-08:00Going Outside<div>*</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjXTINGNEobrv3XIkv-YyPQk_cVE6q2BULZh4cCE1z-GYp1iWjWRpx4bgZghS1CEGIWtknFFobdtp3b8QB6mEgmDH17b47QbLk5HOzBecgcvRuYqxw2H8vW3oD4lD79oWjLgT0BeQG3XTc/s1600-h/lu-at-beach.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjXTINGNEobrv3XIkv-YyPQk_cVE6q2BULZh4cCE1z-GYp1iWjWRpx4bgZghS1CEGIWtknFFobdtp3b8QB6mEgmDH17b47QbLk5HOzBecgcvRuYqxw2H8vW3oD4lD79oWjLgT0BeQG3XTc/s400/lu-at-beach.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5159902945162750738" /><br /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">One of the good things is this whole going outside endeavor. There are many, many ways of going outside, some of which are better than others. There is short walkies, which is just down to the post office and back. Sometimes, this is plenty. Especially if it is hot or sunny outside. You can boss around some old people on the sidewalks, or threaten a golden retriever stuck in a parked car, and you can go into Bob & Jans and get a little doggie treat, and still get home in time for All My Children or Anthony Bordain and not be too damn tired. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But sometimes a bulldog just needs to </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">cut loose, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">and this is what Lone Palm or Secret Beach are good for. You have to take the boxer or it gets kind of boring, but with him it is just </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">lots of fun.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> There is chasing, and biting, and threatening, and bullying, and running after, and cutting off from the path, and chasing into the surf, and not letting out of the surf....there is just a hell of a lot of fun stuff to do.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There are elephant seals. There are egrets. There are cormorants. There are squirrels. There is seaweed. There is sand. There are flies. There are big waves and small waves. Tidepools. Sticks. Ticks! </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The fun never ends.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The main thing is you have to have a lot of water in the truck for after. I mean, a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">lot.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Then when you get home it is bath time. And then nap time. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Like, for, eighteen hours.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ah, me. Life is good when you are a bulldog.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">*</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); text-decoration: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><br /></div></div>tearful dishwasherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13436954924992728636noreply@blogger.com0