Saturday, July 5, 2008

Who, me?


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The indignities never end.


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Okay, one thing is, they keep giving me baths. Which is humiliating enough. Except for the drying off part, which I have to admit is the goddamn cat's pajamas. But then they've been putting some nasty-ass flea medicine on me, which smells like the worst thing in the world times about a brazilian. And worse yet, this freaking neem oil shit that just smells like ass.


And not in a good way.


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Right now I'm in trouble because of another smell. Which is what. I don't know. It smells like a hundred thousand dead cows and there is some dead chicken in there, and also dead moles and some fish, smelt maybe, and I think a couple of old dead people, too. Plus some whale bones and elephant carcasses.

Bone meal. Blood meal. 


They put it all over the goddamn garden!


It smells like a freakin' slaughterhouse!



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In a good way.


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So, I got in there a little bit. Put my face in there. Right in there. Shit, I wanted to climb in and roll around, get it rubbed in to every square inch of me.


But a lady has to maintain a certain level of respectability.


So I just rooted around like a little piggie with my snout.


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MMMMM!


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Now I ain't allowed out no more.



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I ask you, where's the justice?


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And, yes. It's time for another bath.



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